Breathe before you speak

Today I am going to practice not making any decisions without stepping back and taking a breath.

It's been a whirlwind of a dark time, and I am so grateful for the sun. But if I've learned anything about myself these last few months, it's that I don't always know what I need to know.

At least not off the top of my head.

For example, I decide I want to become more healthy. I speak it in my daily meditation. I declare it to myself and to the universe.

And so, I learn that I need chiropractic work. And that I may be dehydrated. And sleep apnea rears it's snoring head. And. And. And.

which I am glad for. How can I feel better physically until I know what is in pain? What is in need? What needs attention?

The question then is how to balance HOW I respond, and focus, and work best with what is needed.

I could do the drama dance and bemoan my physical fate and join the club of people who, when asked how they are, have a book of health issues to define them.

Or I could take a step back, and realize these are not new issues, simply things I have been dealing with unconsiously. As I breathe I realize I am still alive. That hasn't changed. And I don't need to run around and be preoccupied with doctors and pills. I need to be aware. I could change everything, take every option, take all the pills, or I could try one thing at a time, see what changes. And then try something new.

Because everything is tied into everything else, also. Changing one thing may change a myriad of other things.

So today, when faced with the possibilities regarding my future productivity, I am not going to go with the whim of the moment (because frankly I change my mind based on the way the wind is blowing), nor am I going to allow the frantic Frannies in my head to start their own reality show on my future.

I am going to step back. Breathe. Be grateful for my options. Realize I am still alive. And decide what I want to do, and see what that changes.

I hope you're having a great day!
-Lila