Today I am setting goals (am going to start the practice of setting goals) and part of that goal setting is asking myself - does this goal match what I really want?
That's a huge question right there. What do I want? And of course, my favorite line from Into the Woods, "How can you know what you want till you get what you want and you see if you like it?" ("He's a Very Nice Prince", Act 1).
At this point in my life, one thing I know - okay, one thing I think I know, is what I like. Let's hijack a cliche. "I don't know happiness, but I know what I like."
And what do I like? I like contentment. I like the feeling that one day follows another, and everything is sailing along beautifully. I like the feeling that all the difficulties and frustrations are just about life, because I'm doing what I want to be doing, loving my work and my people and my life, and it's one big ball of sunshiny happy.
How do I know I like this? (Which would be like testing the hypothesis, yes?)
Because it's what I'm drawn to. The shows I like to watch, the ones that feed me, that calm me at the end of the day, my fluffy blanket shows - are about people just doing their daily thing, living their lives with joy and contentment. Girl Meets World, Phineas and Ferb. Small, sweet, tame shows. No monsters, no soap opera drama other than the daily lives and loves as people grow.
Okay, I grant you, Phineas and Ferb actually does have some superhero adventure (dooby, dooby, doo-by) but since it's a cartoon, and it could all be part of the young boys' imaginations, it doesn't bother me.
Yes, I like to watch adventure movies, and I am a fan of Joss Whedon, but for what I want my life to feel like? It's calm, humorous, "average" daily lives, all the way.
And as for my reading! Straight to Louisa May Alcott. The most marvelous things happen in her books. People, real people, calm people, have their daily lives, have obstacles in love and life, and they keep moving forward with help from friends and the Divine. Average people, doing their work, and moving contentedly through life.
And yes, I am an avid reader of space opera, and mystery, and I love the supernatural. But, when I need to reconnect with myself, I find Louisa May Alcott in my hands.
So what I want is to have a simple and contented life. I know I want to write (and possibly teach, counsel, and coach as well.) And sing at bedside, and read and hang out with friends and family, and just enjoy. And travel. Calm and content.
Which means I don't have to be a super star. I don't WANT to be a super star. I'm much too introverted for that. But I can be successful without being a superstar.
Contentedly successful.
That feels good. That feels warm and snuggly.
That's what I want.
I hope you have a great day!
-Lila
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